How do you catch a squirrel?

Climb a tree and act like a nut.

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Catch Jokes More Catch Jokes

Who's there ! Alf ! Alf who ?

Alf all if you don't catch me!

Why was Harry Potter kicked out of Hogwarts?

Why was Harry Potter kicked out of Hogwarts? He was caught playing with his broomstick.

Tree Jokes More Tree Jokes

Why did I carve a heart with me and my boyfriends initials into a tree?

To sharpen the knife

How do you get a one armed Italian out of a tree?

You talk to him!

Nut Jokes More Nut Jokes

What did the Psychiatrist say to the naked man wrapped in surran wrap?

Well I can clearly see your nuts

What sounds do nuts make when they sneeze?

Cashew

Climb Jokes More Climb Jokes

What has four legs, two horns, and always brags about climbing really tall things?

A mountain gloat.

What's white and can't climb a tree?

A refrigerator. Sorry.

Squirrel Jokes More Squirrel Jokes

Why does it take more than one squirrel to change a light bulb?

Because, they're so darn stupid!

What animal do psychiatrists bring in to mental hospitals to help patients with social anxiety?

Squirrels they're the best at getting nuts out of their shells.

Act Jokes More Act Jokes

How many members of a certain demographic group does it take to perform a specified task?

A finite number: one to perform the task and the remainder to act in a manner stereotypical of the group in question.

Why can't an IT guy be a doctor?

Nurse: Doctor, the patient's life support is acting strange. . . Doctor: Have you tried turning it off and on again?