How do you cut a turd into 5 pieces?

Squish it in your hand.

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Hand Jokes More Hand Jokes

Why should you never trust a one armed philosophy professor?

He never mentions "on the other hand"

Why did the old lady cover her mouth with her hands when she sneezed?

To catch her false teeth.

Cut Jokes More Cut Jokes

Why does a redneck hold a knife while driving?

So he can cut corners.

Which popstar cuts down trees?

Michael LumberJackson

5 Jokes More 5 Jokes

Why was 5 afraid of 7?

Because 6, 7 8.(http://www.reocities.com/Area51/Meteor/9836/yoda/yodafunface2.jpg)

What do you call a white guy surrounded by 5 black guys?

Coach.

Turd Jokes More Turd Jokes

What do women and turds have in common?

The older they are, the easier they are to pick up.

Why does it say TRD on that Toyota truck?

Because it's a turd!

Squish Jokes More Squish Jokes

How do you cut a turd into 5 pieces?

Squish it in your hand.

Who the hell does that in a sock?

squishes out of the room*