How do you cut a turd into 5 pieces?

Squish it in your hand.

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Hand Jokes More Hand Jokes

What do you call a God unfit for the times at hand?

O Cristor Redundant

How many of you believe in telekinesis?

Raise MY hand!

Cut Jokes More Cut Jokes

What did the stoic dolphin say to the whiny whale?

Cut out all that blubber and you can be more like me.

What qualifies you to be a ninja?

Ninja: I just cut your head off. Boss: That's pr--*thump*

5 Jokes More 5 Jokes

Why Do Sorority Girls Travel In Packs Of 1, 3, 5 or 7?

Because they can't even.

How do you get out of an elephant?

Q: How do you get out of an elephant A: Turn around and around until you get all pooped out. (5 yo humor never gets old)

Turd Jokes More Turd Jokes

Why does Saturday stink?

Because it has a turd in it.

Why does it say TRD on that Toyota truck?

Because it's a turd!

Squish Jokes More Squish Jokes

Who the hell does that in a sock?

squishes out of the room*

What has 100 legs but can't walk?

Johnny: 50 pairs of pants? Jimmy: No, A centipede. Jhonny: What? why? Jimmy: Because I squished it