How do you order a bill in Australian restaurant?

Cheque, mate! --- Maybe not the funniest buy posting because: My. My own. My precious...

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What's the easiest way to get off an elephant?

I don't know but you should buy it dinner first!

Who wants two tickets to the gun show?

I bought the Groupon but can't make it :(

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Why do honest ducks dip their heads under the water?

To liquidate their bills.

How does a lawyer name their kids?

Bill and Sue

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Why'd you order the Fish n' Chips?

For the Halibut.

What do you call insects of the order Mantodea during mating season?

Laying mantises.

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How do you keep a idiot occupied?

I will tell you how in my next post- Jk the answer's in one of the comments, look through every single one and you are destined to discover the answer.

Why shouldn't you post to Reddit while driving?

becau

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What did the Australian grandmaster say to the banker, when asked what he wanted to exchange?

Check, mate!

What do Australians call upside down cake?

Cake.

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What's the funniest part of a boxing joke?

You'd think it'd be the punchline, but apparently it's funnier when the person feints...

What's green and hangs from trees?

Elephant snot. Funniest part is seeing people's reaction when you tell it.