How do you react when looking in the mirror?

You cry because you shoved a cactus up your peckar.

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Cry Jokes More Cry Jokes

What did the pea say to the peanut?

At least you got one nut, I don't see what you're crying about.

What's 12" long, rock hard in the morning, and makes a woman cry?

A dead baby.

Look Jokes More Look Jokes

What does a blonde see when she looks into a box of cheerios?

A. Donut seeds.

Why are you putting on makeup, Mommy?

Me: So I look less tired. 3: Why are you tired Me: Because I'm a mom. 3: Why are you a mom Me: 3:

Mirror Jokes More Mirror Jokes

What goes "krab krab krab"?

A: A dog barking in a mirror.

Why should you never disturb a mirror?

Because they are always reflecting.

Cactus Jokes More Cactus Jokes

What's the difference between a Hummer and a cactus?

A cactus has all the pricks on the outside.

What's the difference between Audi drivers and a cactus?

Audi drivers have pricks on the inside

Shove Jokes More Shove Jokes

Why doesn't Monica Lewinsky like going to the doctor?

He always shoves a Bill down her throat!

What did Jay Z say to Beyonce after having an ice cream shoved up his arse?

I'm feeling a bit sorbet.

React Jokes More React Jokes

Why didn't anyone react when the king farted?

Because it was a noble gas

Why is Kristen Stewart safe from the Fine Brothers?

Because she has no facial expressions so can't react.