How do you read the Gospel According to Shrek?

Open your bible to Psalm BODY ONCE TOLD ME

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How can you tell when you are talking to an extroverted engineer?

They look at your feet instead of theirs.

Why do cows like being told jokes ?

Because they like being amoosed !

Open Jokes More Open Jokes

Why did the girl blush when she opened the fridge?

She saw the salad dressing.

Why are aussie bogans and necrophiliacs the same?

They both want to crack open a cold one.

Bible Jokes More Bible Jokes

What's long and thick and turns conservative women on?

The Bible

What's the difference between a cow and The Bible?

You can't milk a cow for 2,000 years.

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What does Shrek say when he wins a game of chess?

Shrekmate.

What is Shrek's favorite book?

Don-key xote

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How do you read the Gospel According to Shrek?

Open your bible to Psalm BODY ONCE TOLD ME

What is the difference between a black person and a tire?

The tire doesn't sing gospels when you put it in chains.

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What do New York McDonald's employees and people who read Ulysses have in common?

Liberal Arts Degrees.

Why can't Ray Charles read?

Because he's black.

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What colour is eight?

Purple (According to my 3 year old son)

How many Americans does it take to change a light bulb?

None. According to Trump, they outsourced it to India & China.