Shrek Jokes

How do you read the Gospel According to Shrek?

Open your bible to Psalm BODY ONCE TOLD ME

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Who is Shrek's favorite basketball player?

Shrekquille O'Neal I'm sorry

What is Shrek's favorite book?

Don-key xote

What did Shrek say when the waiter dropped off his food at the German Restaurant?

Donkey!" (Danke) You gotta say it with the shrek accent to work.

What does Shrek say when he wins a game of chess?

Shrekmate.

How was the sound quality of Shrek's musical keyboard?

Nothing special, it was just MIDI-Ogre

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Waiter Jokes More Waiter Jokes

What do waiters want most after dinner?

The tip!

What do you call it when a waiter at an internet cafe gets your order wrong?

500 Internal Server Error

Read Jokes More Read Jokes

Why could the drunk man only move left?

The officer hadn't read him his rights.

How do you tell the difference between a chemistry professor and a politician ?

Just ask them to read this word: unionized.

Open Jokes More Open Jokes

What time does Sean Connery go to the US Open?

Tennish

What did the handless box get for hristmas?

Gloves. Just kidding, he hasn't opened it yet.

9 Jokes More 9 Jokes

How many /r/twoxchromosomes posters does it take to change a lightbulb?

Ten. 1 to screw in the lightbulb, and the other 9 to provide emotional support.

What kind of insects to secret agents like?

as told by my 9 yr old) Spiders.

Win Jokes More Win Jokes

Why did the scarecrow win an award?

For being out standing in his field.

Why did Eli Manning didn't react to the Broncos winning the Superbowl?

Because the fine bros would sue.

Accord Jokes More Accord Jokes

What was the #1 summer blockbuster, according to Cat Fancy magazine?

Mad Manx: Furry Road

What colour is eight?

Purple (According to my 3 year old son)

Gospel Jokes More Gospel Jokes

What is the difference between a black person and a tire?

The tire doesn't sing gospels when you put it in chains.

How do you read the Gospel According to Shrek?

Open your bible to Psalm BODY ONCE TOLD ME

Donkey Jokes More Donkey Jokes

What do you call?

What do you call a donkey with three legs?? A wonkey!!

What do you call a donkey throwing nuts?

An astronaut.