How does a Muslim get a hot date?

He puts it in the microwave. EDIT: Looks like you guys are real dim....

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What does it mean if you look down and see four balls instead of two?

Careful, you might be getting screwed.

What's the worst thing to hear during a prostate exam?

Look! No hands!

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What's the difference between a guy wearing a bullet proof vest and the English football team?

The guy would survive the first round.

What do you call a guy with two marijuanas?

Double jointed.

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What My Friend Said Once They Discovered The Existence of Gravitational Waves?

Friend: Good, now they will make microwaves that cook my chicken fingers faster. Say what now

How many kittens can you stuff into a microwave for 15 minutes on defrost...?

SEVEN.

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What does a Muslim man call a girl he is living in sin with?

Haram bea

How do you blow up a Muslim's phone?

Put it into airplane mode

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What were Jesus' final words?

So long and thanks for all the fish." Edit: Everyone hates me.

What is it called when a ship attacks their own navy?

Edit: Whoops wrong sub.

Hot Date Jokes More Hot Date Jokes

How does a Muslim get a hot date?

He puts it in the microwave. EDIT: Looks like you guys are real dim....

Who doesn't like a hot date?

A necrophiliac.