What's the difference between a guy wearing a bullet proof vest and the English football team?

The guy would survive the first round.

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Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between Iceland and Ireland?

A consonant.

What is the difference between a beautiful dress and a bottle of Whisky?

A beautiful dress can make one girl look gorgeous... A bottle of whiskey can make all girls look gorgeous.

Guy Jokes More Guy Jokes

What do you say to a guy who is covered in rodents?

Mice outfit!

What did one triangle say to the other triangle about the square?

Look out for that guy, he's got another side to him.

Wear Jokes More Wear Jokes

Why do handicapped people wear shoes?

Because if they didn't their local gas station would turn a blind eye.

Why do women parachutists wear jock straps?

So they don't whistle on the way down.

English Jokes More English Jokes

What do you call an English teacher who used to have anxiety?

Past tense.

What is the most awesomely amazing word in the English language?

Anticlimactic

Round Jokes More Round Jokes

Why can't horses fix merry go rounds?

They'd be terrified

Who dropped a wad of notes with an elastic band round them?

I did! Well here's the elastic band.

Survive Jokes More Survive Jokes

What do you call a soldier who survives mustard gas and pepper spray attacks?

A seasoned veteran.

How are college students like plants?

They both need natural light to survive!