How many Deadheads does it take to change a lightbulb?

None, they just watch it burn out and follow it around for 30 years.

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Burn Jokes More Burn Jokes

What should you do with a burning Kotex?

Throw it on the ground and tamp on it.

What do a burnt pizza, a frozen beer, and a pregnant woman have in common?

In all 3 cases, someone forgot to pull it out.

Lightbulb Jokes More Lightbulb Jokes

How many Meth-Heads does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Three, One to hold the lightbulb and Two to smoke till the room spins!

How many psychologists does it take to change a lightbulb?

One, but the lightbulb has to WANT to change.

Change Jokes More Change Jokes

How Many Marshawn Lynches Does it Take to Change a Lightbulb?

Only one. Just as long as you hand him the damn lightbulb.

How many introverts does it take to change a lightbulb?

Why does it have to be a group activity

Watch Jokes More Watch Jokes

What do you call it when someone forces you to watch them take their clothes off?

A power strip.

What are your desires?

Me: My desires are..imagines having a talking Pug named Maurice that I watch Netflix with...Unconventional.

Follow Jokes More Follow Jokes

Which of the following lines will do a better job of frightening a man away?

1) Get away or I'll call the police!!! 2) I love you and want to marry you and have your children.

How did you burn the Thanksgiving Turkey?

Me: I followed the directions. 20 minutes a pound at 325 degrees. I weigh 175 pounds!

Deadhead Jokes More Deadhead Jokes

How many Deadheads (Grateful Dead fans) does it take to change a lightbulb?

No one knows, they wait for it to burn out and follow it around for twenty years.

How many Deadheads does it take to change a lightbulb?

None, they just watch it burn out and follow it around for 30 years.

30 Year Jokes More 30 Year Jokes

What's the difference between a cow and Super Mario Bros?

A cow can't be milked for over 30 years

What do you call a spouse of 30 years?

A stalemate.