What's the difference between onions and your mother-in-law?

You don't cry when chopping your mother-in-law.

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Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between a red head and a blue head?

Your grip.

What's the difference between a chestnut and a walnut?

Your aim.

Cry Jokes More Cry Jokes

How do you tell if your Billy Idol fan girlfriend has a Three Stooges fetish?

In the midnight hour she cried "Moe! Moe! Moe!"

Why is he crying?

Me: That's a teardrop tattoo. 5: Oh. Did he shank someone in prison M: What 5: Remind him I want extra guacamole.

Mother Jokes More Mother Jokes

What does a baby mouse say to its mother after seeing a bat?

Look mom, an angel!

What's pink, wrinkly and hangs out my underpants?

My mother.

Law Jokes More Law Jokes

What's the difference between onions and your mother-in-law?

You don't cry when chopping your mother-in-law.

Why did the college student change his major from Biology to Physics after his first exam?

He needed to see if how fast his grade dropped broke any laws of physics.

Onion Jokes More Onion Jokes

What does a bag of rice and an onion do when they get into a fast car?

They pilaf. I'll show my way out

Whats the square (root) of a (onion)???

Shallots

Chop Jokes More Chop Jokes

What was Jeffrey Dahmer's favorite snack?

Chopped dates.

What is the big difference between chopped pork and pea soup?

Everybody can chop pork but nobody can pea soup.