How many times did I tell you to make your bed?

Jane: I can't answer. I didn't know I was supposed to keep count!

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Bed Jokes More Bed Jokes

What does a dyslexic, agnostic insomniac do at night?

Lie in bed wondering "Is there really a dog?"

Why did the bear run around his bed?

He wanted to catch up on his sleep.

Know Jokes More Know Jokes

When do you know that you are getting old?

When you have babies on purpose

What have you got on?

I've got a hard on. But I didn't know you could smell it."

Answer Jokes More Answer Jokes

What did the blond girl say when she saw the car?

Answer: That's the lost one right there.

What does a microcontroller say when it can't answer a question?

Ardunno

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

What kind of dog can tell time?

A clockshund!

How do you tell who the extroverted engineers are?

They're the ones who look at YOUR shoes when they talk to you.

Time Jokes More Time Jokes

How do you know if someone has a Samsung phone without asking?

Don't worry, they've already told you the superior qualities it has over all the other smart phones by this time.

What do nuclear physicists do when they have time off?

They go fission.

Count Jokes More Count Jokes

How many lazy people does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Count for yourself...

Why don't girls count to two?

Because they "can't even."

Suppose Jokes More Suppose Jokes

What did the hippy who has been crashing on your couch for the last 2 weeks say when you asked him to leave?

Am I supposed to say the answer or let y'all guess for a bit !

Why are ghostbusters afraid of bridges over small rivers?

A. Because they're not supposed to cross the streams