What does Santa say when he meets your ...

Santa Jokes More Santa Jokes

Why did Santa bring his sack with him when starring in the pantomime?

He wanted to have some stage presents.

Why is Santa always happy?

Because he knows where the naughty girls live. (a kid told me this one)

Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

Why did the programmer get a job working with big data when his wife died?

He just needed a little bit of Clojure.

Why was the Robot angry at the engineer?

Because he screwed his wife!

Christmas Jokes More Christmas Jokes

What did the double hand amputee get for Christmas?

I don't know, he hasn't managed to open it yet.

Why do people get divorced in the holiday season?

Because they Marry Christmas!

Merry Jokes More Merry Jokes

Why can't horses fix merry go rounds?

They'd be terrified

What do you call someone who would do anything for a chocolate snack cake?

A ho ho ho. (merry xmas!)

Meet Jokes More Meet Jokes

How do tectonic plates have fun?

They meet up and crack each other up.

How do you know that someone you met is a Harvard graduate?

He already told you so.

Sister Jokes More Sister Jokes

What do you call a sister who works for you?

Nun of your business.

What did the pirate say to his sister?

Aye sis

Mother Jokes More Mother Jokes

What's a mixed feeling?

When you see your mother-in-law backing off a cliff in your new car.

Why does Oedipus hate profanity?

He kisses his mother with that mouth.

Ho Ho Ho Jokes More Ho Ho Ho Jokes

What is the linguistic description of sentences like 'ho ho ho' and 'merry Christmas'?

They are both santa clauses.