How many women have you slept with wife asked husband, "How many women have you slept with?

he proudly replied, "Only you, Darling. With all the others I was awake."

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Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

What was the engineer's reaction to his wife being too heavy?

Cantilever? (can't I leave her)

Why can't we feed the animals?

Wife: They'll get lazy and dependent and never, ever go away. Me: *looks warily at our kids*

Sleep Jokes More Sleep Jokes

What has a mouth but never speaks, Has a bed but never sleeps, And has legs but never walks?

amp;nbsp; A mute, crippled insomniac

What was the man running around ?

from my 5yr old son Because he wanted to catch some sleep.

Ask Jokes More Ask Jokes

When a cop pulls you over and asks, "Papers?

answer "Scissors." then drive away..

What does a quantum physicist tell their toddler who keeps asking "Why" over and over?

Because I saw so."

Woman Jokes More Woman Jokes

What do you call a man without a beard?

A woman.

What should you give a man who has everything?

A. A woman to show him how to work it.

Husband Jokes More Husband Jokes

Whats the difference between a house cat and a polecat ?

How much their husbands make

Why's he happy?

He got dog-piled. Me: He made a lot of groundage before getting put down. Husband: Yardage. Tackled. PLEASE LEAVE.

Darling Jokes More Darling Jokes

Why don't kids at school get my sarcastic humor?

Me: Because they have boring parents, darling.

How many women have you slept with My wife asked me, "How many women have you slept with?

I proudly replied, "Only you, Darling. With all the others I was awake."

Reply Jokes More Reply Jokes

Why do old people read the bible so much?

I asked my grandad the other day "why do old people read the bible so much?" He replied "cause we're cramming for finals"

Why must you question everything I say!?

Everything " I replied