What did the vampire do to stop his son biting his nails ?

He cut all his fingers off !

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Stop Jokes More Stop Jokes

What stopped the beaver's crime spree?

The damming evidence

How do functions Break-Up?

They stop calling each other.

Nail Jokes More Nail Jokes

What is the difference between a painting and jesus?

A painting only need one nail to hang

What do Jesus and Muhammad have in common?

They both nailed a 2x4.

Bite Jokes More Bite Jokes

What they say: Want a bite of my sandwich?

What I hear: How much of this sandwich can you fit in your mouth

What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm?

The Holocaust

Cut Jokes More Cut Jokes

What's the magic word?

Cut to them back at the station writing on a chalkboard with dozens of words crossed off

What's the cutest part of a house?

The awning. I know, I'm sorry.

Son Jokes More Son Jokes

Why did the Greeks want Helen back so bad?

Are you kidding She was the most beautiful woman in the world! Can you imagine what her sons would of looked like

Why did the orange go to the doctor?

Because she wasn't peeling very well... All credit to my 8 yo son who suggested I post it here

Finger Jokes More Finger Jokes

What did the five fingers say to the phallus?

FAP!!!"

Why do bald guys cut holes in their pockets?

So they can run their fingers through their hair.

Vampire Jokes More Vampire Jokes

What do you call a teenage boy who turns into a vampire before he gets bit?

Premature Edraculation

Why did the vampire stand at the bus stop with his finger up his nose?

He was a ghoulsnif fer.