What did the wife spider say to her husband when he tried to explain why he was late ?

Your spinning me a yarn here !

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Spin Jokes More Spin Jokes

How many drunks does it take to change a lightbulb?

Just one. He holds the bulb and the room spins.

What do you think of this, you spin really fast and I'll fly a kite from the wind you make?

I'm not a big fan."

Explain Jokes More Explain Jokes

Why do you look so sad?

Boy explains his whole problem Girl: Oh, that's why you didn't notice my nail paint

What do you have left after you burn a French alphabet?

H Edit: I don't like explaining jokes but since the first guy didn't get I might as well: When pronounced in a French accent it sounds like ash.

Try Jokes More Try Jokes

Why was the ghost of Anne Boleyn always running after the ghost of Henry VIII ?

She was trying to get ahead !

How many times should you try starting your snowblower before you realize it's not going to start?

According to my neighbor it's 458 times.

Husband Jokes More Husband Jokes

Whats the last thing you want to see when youre shagging the wife?

The husband.

What's round and black and blue?

A blueberry that occasionally gets hit by her husband

Yarn Jokes More Yarn Jokes

What did one strand of yarn say to the other?

I'm not ready to dye, I still have a few ends to tie up. "Ball up..."

How many absurdists does it take to change a lightbulb?

Yarn.