How many alcoholics does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb, and one to drink until the room starts spinning.

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Drink Jokes More Drink Jokes

What did the bartender day to the man who was drinking his vodka to fast?

Stop "Russian"

Why was Sean Connery accused of piracy while drinking tea?

He took a ship.

Start Jokes More Start Jokes

How many people does it take to start a riot?

3/5

Why do people in wheelchairs wear shoes?

Do they think they're gonna magically start walking

Bulb Jokes More Bulb Jokes

How many Socialists does it take to change a light bulb?

None comrade, the bulb holds the seeds to its own revolution!

How many alcoholics does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb, and one to drink until the room starts spinning.

Hold Jokes More Hold Jokes

How do French girls hold their liquor?

By the ears

How many idiots does it take to change a light bulb?

Five - one to hold the bulb, and four to turn his ladder

Spin Jokes More Spin Jokes

How many drunks does it take to change a lightbulb?

Just one. He holds the bulb and the room spins.

What do you call it when you spin a candy cane?

a tournament

Change Jokes More Change Jokes

Why are diapers like $10 bills?

Because you have to change them.

How many feminists does it take to change a light-bulb?

THAT'S NOT FUNNY!

Light Bulb Jokes More Light Bulb Jokes

How many golfers does it take to change a light bulb?

FORE!

How many children with ADHD does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Wanna go swimming?

Room Jokes More Room Jokes

How many American cops does it take to change a broken lightbulb?

Two. One to arrest the room for being black, and the other to arrest the bulb for being broke.

What do you get when you put 28 Alabama Sorority girls in one room?

A full set of teeth

Alcoholic Jokes More Alcoholic Jokes

What do alcoholics and necropheliacs have in common?

They both love to crack open a cold one.

What do an alcoholic and a necrophile have in common?

They both like to crack open a cold one.