Red Light Jokes

What is a NYC nanosecond?

If you are stuck at a red light, its the time that it takes for the occupant of the car behind you to honk his horn when the light turns green.

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How do you take a Mexican family portrait?

Put them in the back of a truck and run a red light.

Why didn't you stop at that red light?

Motorist: Then you would have caught up with me.

What did the green light say to the red light?

I love you, but I'm sick of yellow light always breaking us up.

What's that pig doing in the middle of the road with a red light on its head?

Didn't you tell me to put out a stop swine

What did the policeman say when he pulled over a nissan?

Nissan Haltima Bonus: What do you call it when a kia pulls up to a red light Kia stoptima

What do you do at a red light?

Me: "I usually respond to texts and check my Twitter."

Why do we have to sit at red lights if nobody's coming the other way?

We don't have to pay our taxes if nobody's checking, right

What did the Red light say to the Green light?

Don't look at me I'm changing!

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Color Jokes More Color Jokes

Which color is the coldest?

gundy

How do you call a blond who has colored her hair to brown?

Artificial intelligence!

Road Jokes More Road Jokes

What do you call a president crossing the road?

A presidestrian

Why did Hillary cross the road?

What difference, at this point, does it make?

Everybody Jokes More Everybody Jokes

What's the definition of a good actor?

Somebody who tries hard to be everybody but himself.

What did the eggs say when the cops showed up?

Everybody scramble!

Flash Jokes More Flash Jokes

What's black and red, flashes like hell and annoys men?

Live Jasmine

What is the difference between a flashing red traffic light and a flashing yellow traffic light?

A: The color.

Mexican Jokes More Mexican Jokes

What do you call a Mexican pervert?

A pedrophile

What is a Mexicans favourite sport?

Cross-Country

Pig Jokes More Pig Jokes

What do you call a pig... ...with an unusually high IQ?

Einswine

Why did the pig join the Army?

He heard the food was a mess.

Pull Jokes More Pull Jokes

Why did the cz-75 get the girl pregnant?

It took too long to pull out.

What did the policeman say when he pulled over a nissan?

Nissan Haltima Bonus: What do you call it when a kia pulls up to a red light Kia stoptima

Maple Leafs Jokes More Maple Leafs Jokes

How many maple leafs does it take to change a tire?

Only 1, unless it's a blowout then the whole team shows up

Where's the red light district in Toronto?

Behind the Maple Leafs' net.