What do you do when you see your wife stumbling around in the backyard?

Shoot her again.

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Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

What's on at the cinema?

Wife: Let me google it and- *terrified look at bill* Wife: Let me bing it and see.

Why did the Mexican push his wife off a cliff?

TUH KEELLUHHH!!!

Shoot Jokes More Shoot Jokes

How many communists does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One guy to screw in the light bulb, and the other guy to shoot him if he doesn't do it right.

Why do they say "break a leg !" to actors ?

If you said "tear an ACL !" to a star athlete, you'd be shot on the spot.

Stumble Jokes More Stumble Jokes

What do you do when you stumble upon a one-armed Polish man stuck in a tree?

You wave!

What do you call a theft by a stumbling person?

A lumberjack.

Backyard Jokes More Backyard Jokes

What do you do when you see your wife stumbling around in the backyard?

Shoot her again.

What kind of socks do you find in your backyard?

Garden hose.