What's the hardest part about being a vegan?

Waking up at 5 am to milk the almonds.

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Milk Jokes More Milk Jokes

What's the best way to milk a sheep?

Ask Apple.

What do you call a tired cow?

Milked out!

Hard Jokes More Hard Jokes

What's the hardest part about cooking a vegetable?

Fitting the wheelchair in the oven.

What is the hardest part of cuting a baby in half with a straight razor?

My erection.

Wake Jokes More Wake Jokes

What do you call Washington State after a long rain storm?

Washed a Ton State. I woke up with that joke in my head this morning. My brain is weird. Had to share it with someone.

Why did the band Wham! break up?

Because he didn't wake him up before he went went. It's , people.

Vegan Jokes More Vegan Jokes

How many feminists does it take to screw a vegan?

Lightbulb.

What do Vegans, ISIS and Feminists have in common?

None of them like pork.

5 Jokes More 5 Jokes

What do you call a 5' 2" fortune teller that has escaped from prison?

A small medium at large

What happens if I microwave 5 Barbies?

Me: That's an oddly specific question. 4: I already know what happens if I do it with 4

Almond Jokes More Almond Jokes

What do you get when you cross peanuts and almonds?

Deez Nutz

What does a scientologist and an almond have in common?

They are both nuts.