What would Marilyn Monroe be doing if she were alive today?

Clawing at the inside of her coffin.

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Today Jokes More Today Jokes

What would George Washington do if he were alive today?

Scream and scratch at the top of his coffin.

What do you call the family members of the Force?

Force-kin My friend made this up today while talking about Star Wars.

Claw Jokes More Claw Jokes

What works in a circus walks a tightrope and has claws ?

An acrocat !

What did the cat use to sharpen its claws?

Me. Ow.

Inside Jokes More Inside Jokes

What's white on the outside, black on the inside and soon to be orange all over?

1600 Pennsylvania Ave.

Why do airplanes manufactured in Spain have windshield wipers on the inside?

Because the rain in Spain falls mostly in the plain.

Coffin Jokes More Coffin Jokes

Who's there ! Coffin ! Coffin who ?

Coffin and spluttering !

How can you tell a vampire has a cold?

They start coffin.

Marilyn Monroe Jokes More Marilyn Monroe Jokes

What would Marilyn Monroe be doing if she were alive today?

Clawing at the inside of her coffin.

What did JFK say before going to visit Marilyn Monroe?

I choose to go to Marilyn's hotel room this night and do the naughty things, not because she is easy, but because I am hard.