What would you do if i won the lottery?

Wife: I'd take half and leave. Husband: Well here's $6 and you can start packing anytime now.

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Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

What do you throw a drowning aboriginal?

His wife and kids

Why couldn't the Engineer Manager screw his wife?

Sorry I don't have the tools, I only supervise."

Start Jokes More Start Jokes

How do most bakers get their start in the industry?

They knead dough

What has 10 letters and starts with gas?

Automobile.

Leave Jokes More Leave Jokes

How did the newfie injure himself raking leaves?

He fell out of the tree

How do you stop ISIS?

Leave some milk in the sun for a few days.

Win Jokes More Win Jokes

Why was 9 mad at 0 after winning a game of bingo?

Because 0 1 2

What was the name of the heaviest man in china?

Won ton

Pack Jokes More Pack Jokes

What is the difference between a pack of pygmies and a girls track team?

The pack of pygmies is a bunch of cunning runts.

What can I bring to your party?

Friend: A six pack. does 10 crunches cancels

Husband Jokes More Husband Jokes

Why did the Islamic woman die when she fell into the ocean?

She thought to yell for help, but her husband was nowhere around to grant her permission to do so.

What is 10 years with me?

Wife:What is 10 years with me Husband:A second. Wife:What is $1000 for me Husband:A coin. Wife: Ok give me a coin. Husband:Wait a second

Half Jokes More Half Jokes

What do you get for the women who has everything?

A divorce, then she'll only have half of everything.

What do you call a half-length lightsabre?

A slightsabre

Lottery Jokes More Lottery Jokes

What has six balls and screws everybody?

The lottery.

Why did the hick move to a toxic waste dump after winning the lottery?

They heard it was a Superfund site.