Whats the difference between a retard and a woman?

The retard doesn't need to be buggered to think he's special.

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Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between the Rolling Stones and Scotsman?

The Rolling Stones say "Hey, you, get off of my cloud." A Scotsman says "Hey, McCloud, get off of my ewe."

What's the difference between a cactus and a schoolbus?

Cactus has little pricks on the outside

Think Jokes More Think Jokes

What's the difference between an American and a Briton?

Britons think 200 miles is a long distance, and American's think 200 years is a long time.

What do you get when you cross an oven with a car?

A hot rod. NOTE: When I was about 5, I thought this was the funniest joke on earth.

S Jokes More S Jokes

Whats better than winning silver at the paralympics?

Not being a cripple.

Whats the difference between a pregnant woman and a lightbulb?

You can unscrew a lightbulb.

Woman Jokes More Woman Jokes

What is your opinion on women making 75% of a man's wages for the same job?

I said "Congratulations!!!"

Why do women like roses?

Because they are pretty and hurt you.

Need Jokes More Need Jokes

Why is a good husband like bread dough?

Because his wife needs him.

Why did the pirate update his Macbook?

His matey told him he needed an iPatch

Retard Jokes More Retard Jokes

How can you tell retarded kids form the art students?

Retards don't wear Black.

What do you call a retard covered in water?

Flame retardant