What did u do last night?

Me: I drowned my swallows in whiskey Don't u mean sorrows Me covering tub of dead birds: is that the saying

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Swallow Jokes More Swallow Jokes

Why was the lions stomach enormous?

Because he finally swallowed his pride

Why are giraffes slow to apologize?

It takes them a long time to swallow their pride

Drown Jokes More Drown Jokes

What do you use when you are drowning in women?

A flirtation device.

What do you call five Mexicans drowning at the bottom of their pool?

Cinco.

Cover Jokes More Cover Jokes

What do you call an epileptic covered in lettuce?

A seizure salad.

What do you call a young plastic covered sheep?

Laminated

Mean Jokes More Mean Jokes

Why do urologists like UTIs?

It means urine business.

What do you mean ?

Well she turned up the Minster turned up but the groom didn't !

Night Jokes More Night Jokes

How can you tell if Chuck Norris ate rabbits the night before?

He has claw marks on his forehead.

Where does Max Planck go for a night out?

To the h-bar

U. Jokes More U. Jokes

What do u call two lesbians floating down a river in a canoe?

Fur traders.

What do u call a Mexican who survives a shootout and lives to tell the tale?

The Juan who lived.

Dead Bird Jokes More Dead Bird Jokes

What has wings but can't fly, legs but can't walk, and a mouth but can't speak?

A dead bird

What do you call a dead bird that was suicidal?

A Robin Williams.

Whiskey Jokes More Whiskey Jokes

Which whiskey should you buy if you want to dance all night?

Wild Twerky!

What does Batman like with his whiskey?

Gravely voice) "Just ice."

Tub Jokes More Tub Jokes

What's the difference between America and a tub of yogurt?

After 200 years the yogurt would have developed some kind of culture.

What's the difference between a tuna, a piano, and a tub of glue?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano tuna.