Why didn't crab and lobster like to share?

They were both two shellfish

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Like Jokes More Like Jokes

What's a hippie's favorite animal?

An elk It has the E, the L, and the K. Would like to hear some more if you guys have any.

What do you call a girl who only likes guys with big muscles?

A Biceptual

Lobster Jokes More Lobster Jokes

What doesn't belong in this group, A lobster, an octopus, a crab, or a chinese man under a bus?

The octopus, obviously, the three others are crustaceans.

Which one is the odd one out; a Crab, a Tuna, a Chinese man run over by a bus or a Lobster?

A tuna, because the rest of them are crustaceans.

Crab Jokes More Crab Jokes

Why did the crab take the last slice of pizza?

Because he's shellfish!

Why did the marriage between the crab and the shrimp end in a divorce?

Because they were both too Shellfish.

Share Jokes More Share Jokes

Why do the French have so many civil wars?

So they can win one every now and again. (Thanks, John Cleese! This was too good not to share.)

Why do I have to share a room with my twin sister?

ME: Because we only anticipated having one of you.

Shellfish Jokes More Shellfish Jokes

What did Sean Connery say to a couple of lobsters he saw take up an extra parking space?

You're two shellfish."

What kind of cars do shellfish drive?

Mussel cars.