Why are all the plants at the retirement home made of silk and plastic?

Because everything that stays there just ends up dying.

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Die Jokes More Die Jokes

Why did the man drowning in the Nile River think he wasn't going to die?

Because he was in de-nile.

Why did all most of the black soldiers die in Vietnam?

When the commander yelled "GET DOWN", they all started dancing.

End Jokes More End Jokes

What's black, wears a bandana and ends the world?

Tupacalypse. (thanks to my buddy Mike)

Why do Kenyans always win marathons?

At the end, they get a bag of chips and a Coke. -My dad told me this joke when we went to a race-

Plastic Jokes More Plastic Jokes

What do you call the piece of plastic behind the windshield in an Iraqi car?

A Daeshboard

Why do they ask you if you want paper or plastic at the supermarket?

Because baggers can't be choosers.

Stay Jokes More Stay Jokes

What do you get when you're agnostic, dyslexic, and an insomniac?

You stay up all night wondering if there's a dog.

What time is our movie tonight?

Me: 7:30. It's 2 hours 50 minutes Hub: WHAT! I CANT STAY UP TILL 10:30 "Back off ladies. He's mine"

Plant Jokes More Plant Jokes

How do you grow a cow?

Plant its nuts.

What is a Farmer's favorite pick-up line?

Girl. You look so good that I wish I could plant you and grow a whole field of y'all!

Retirement Home Jokes More Retirement Home Jokes

Why are all the plants at the retirement home made of silk and plastic?

Because everything that stays there just ends up dying.

Silk Jokes More Silk Jokes

Why are all the plants at the retirement home made of silk and plastic?

Because everything that stays there just ends up dying.

Whatever happened to silk underwear?

A: Fell through the cracks.