Why can't Zeno seem to pay his bar tab in full?

Answer: Because he kept giving half of what he owes.

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Who pays for the drinks?

The German!

What university department did the Fonz go do when he needed help paying his tuition?

Financial Ayyyyyyd I'll

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Pupil: Well if I could there wouldn't be much point in me being here!

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A: Half a measure.

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Aye E, I owe you...

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What do you call a mushroom that picks up the bar tab?

A FUNGI to be with!

Why can't Zeno seem to pay his bar tab in full?

Answer: Because he kept giving half of what he owes.