Why did the peace-loving incandescent bulb reject the candle and choose the fluorescent lamp as role model?

The fluorescent lamp wouldn't hurt a fly.

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Fly Jokes More Fly Jokes

What happened when pigs started flying?

Everyone got swine flu

What is a common question at lizards' fast food joints?

You want flies with that?

Love Jokes More Love Jokes

Why does Leonardo DiCaprio love his fast car?

Because he got an award for revvin' it.

What happened when the man fell in love with his garden?

It made him wed his plants!

Reject Jokes More Reject Jokes

What did the woman say to the stamp collector to reject his romantic advances?

Philately will get you no where.

Why did Mr. T reject Socialism?

Because he stumbled across a quote by Karl Marx which said: "All you have to lose is your chains."

Candle Jokes More Candle Jokes

Who thought blowing out candles on a cake was a good tradition?

Ah yes wax would go well with this cake and you know what else Child spit.

How long does it take to burn a candle down ?

About a wick !

Hurt Jokes More Hurt Jokes

Why did the masochist STOP hitting himself on the head with a hammer ?

Because it hurt.

What's love?

Me: Well, all the women text you except the one you like. And it hurts, so we drink. Sister: Get away from him!

Choose Jokes More Choose Jokes

Why did the aliens choose to not invade and enslave the human race?

Because they're not garbage collectors.

Why did the customer choose T-Mobile?

Because he wanted the worst cellphone service in the world.