Why did the vampire sit on a pumpkin?

It wanted to play squash.

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Want Jokes More Want Jokes

Why doesn't San Antonio have a pro football team?

Because then Dallas would want one too.

What do you call a woman with two black eyes?

Nothing, Chris Brown doesn't want you getting involved in his personal life

Play Jokes More Play Jokes

What do you call two nuns playing a bongo?

A conundrum.

How is this joke similar to a musical about a thesaurus?

Both are a play on words.

Sit Jokes More Sit Jokes

What's Irish and sits on a porch?

Pati 'O' Furniture

Why did Thor sit comfortably on a cactus?

He has an Asgard ...I'll see myself out

Pumpkin Jokes More Pumpkin Jokes

Why do pumpkins sit on people’s porches?

They have no hands to knock on the door.

What does a redneck do on Halloween?

Pumpkin

Vampire Jokes More Vampire Jokes

What's the difference between a ginger girl and a vampire?

One bursts into flames in the sunlight, and the other is a vampire.

What did the vampire do to stop his son biting his nails ?

He cut all his fingers off !

Squash Jokes More Squash Jokes

What is Godzilla's favorite fruit?

Squash.

What game do monsters play with humans?

Squash.