Why did the vampire sit on a pumpkin?

It wanted to play squash.

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Want Jokes More Want Jokes

What did the Chili's waitress say about her kidnapped daughter?

I want my baby back, baby back, baby back.

How many times does 1 go into 0?

As Many Times As It Wants!

Play Jokes More Play Jokes

Why aren't you mowing the lawn?

Link: It's raining Z: No it's not L: *Plays Song of Storms* Z: You're sleeping with Epona tonight

Why should you never play Uno with a foreigner?

Because they will always steal the green cards.

Sit Jokes More Sit Jokes

What time is it when yo mama sits on a chair?

Time to buy a new chair.

What's big and green and sits in the corner?

The Incredible Sulk!

Pumpkin Jokes More Pumpkin Jokes

How is Halloween celebrated in Kentucky?

pumpkin

What did the pumpkin say after waking up his family?

Awaken, my pump- "

Vampire Jokes More Vampire Jokes

What's the best time of this month for vampires?

It depends on the girl

What food do vampires hate?

Steaks.

Squash Jokes More Squash Jokes

What did the Zucchini say when it got stepped on?

squash*

How do you sort out Ant and Dec?

Squash one and deal with the other later.