Why did you stop your car get out and yell "coward" at the traffic signal?

Motorist: The light just turned yellow.

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Car Jokes More Car Jokes

What happened when the elephant sat on the car?

A: Everyone knows a Mercedes Bends!

How do you prove that your dog loves you more than your wife?

Lock them both in the trunk of the car for an hour, then open it up and see which one of them is happier to see you.

Light Jokes More Light Jokes

How many heretics does it take to change a lightbulb?

We're not sure, they've yet to see the light.

What's the best thing to bring to your holiday party?

A Christmas tree. Because they're lit.

Turn Jokes More Turn Jokes

What have you been doing with all the grocery money I gave you ?

My Wife... Turn sideways and look in the mirror!

What is a NYC nanosecond?

If you are stuck at a red light, its the time that it takes for the occupant of the car behind you to honk his horn when the light turns green.

Stop Jokes More Stop Jokes

What does a Ferrari and poverty have in common?

Princess Diana can't stop either

How do you get a Mormon to stop drinking all of your alcohol?

Invite two of them.

Motorist Jokes More Motorist Jokes

What did the turkey say to the motorist?

Buckle Buckle

Why were you asleep at the wheel?

Motorist: Your siren lulled me to sleep.

Yell Jokes More Yell Jokes

Why are the mountains in Switzerland called "the Alps"?

Because when people fall off of 'em, they yell AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLPPPP!!!!!!!!

How can you tell if you're in Detroit or across the river in Windsor Ontario Canada?

Stand in the middle of the street. If someone yells, "hey, get out of the street" you're in the US. If they yell, "get out of the street, eh" you're in Canada