Why do bald-headed men never use keys?

Because they've lost their locks.

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Lose Jokes More Lose Jokes

Why did the marijuana addict lose the race?

He was running on fumes.

What did the Mtis people think of the look on Stephen Harper's face when he lost the election?

They though it was Riel funny!

Use Jokes More Use Jokes

What do you call using Tinder while you are in the bathroom?

A swipe and wipe.

What evil do the USA and Darth Vader have in common?

Using imperial units.

Lock Jokes More Lock Jokes

What did the knob say to the door?

I LOCK you a lot! yep, its corny, indeed, but... I'm tryin'! Skip

What's the worst part about locking your keys in your car, outside of a planned parenthood center?

Having to go inside and ask for a coat-hanger.

Key Jokes More Key Jokes

What's the key to long lasting Relationships?

Not breaking up

How did they break in?

Me: I have a fake garden rock w/a key inside. Police: They found it Me: They threw it through the window.