Why do conspiracy theorists have such long beards?

Because they don't know how to use Occam's razor

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What do women and police cars have in common?

They both make a lot of noise to let you know they are coming.

Why are there commercials for milk?

Who still doesn't know about milk

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What gym equipment does Jesus use?

A cross trainer.

Why the hell would I use turn signals?

I know where we're going.

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What does a conspiracy theorist say when he breaks up with someone?

I think we should start seeing other sheeple."

How many conspiracy theorists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

We may never know the truth.

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What do logicians use to shave?

Occam's razor

Why do conspiracy theorists have such long beards?

Because they don't know how to use Occam's razor

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What do logicians use to shave?

Occam's razor

How do philosophers shave off their beards?

Occam's razor