Conspiracy Theorist Jokes

What do capitalists and conspiracy theorists have in common?

They are both controlled by little green men.

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How do conspiracy theorists like their lovers?

Illumi-naughty

What does a conspiracy theorist say when he breaks up with someone?

I think we should start seeing other sheeple."

Why do conspiracy theorists have such long beards?

Because they don't know how to use Occam's razor

What's the difference between a skeptic and a conspiracy theorist?

You wouldn't believe me if I told you.

Where do conspiracy theorists keep their ideas?

In a skeptic tank. (Note: I just made up this joke earlier today. I'm not 100% sure the joke is obvious feel free to suggest a better wording!)

What did the giraffe say to the conspiracy theorist?

Nothing, giraffes aren't real.

Why didn't the conspiracy theorist make his irreverently named pet sleep outside?

Because 9/11 was an inside dog.

How many conspiracy theorists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

We may never know the truth.

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Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between a lawyer and an angry rooster?

The rooster clucks defiance.

What's the difference between HP computers and HP in a video game?

One of them you want to see a lot less of.

Feel Jokes More Feel Jokes

Where does a tugboat go when it feels sick?

To the Dock

How did the firefly feel when he flew into the fan?

He was de-lighted

Little Green Man Jokes More Little Green Man Jokes

What do capitalists and conspiracy theorists have in common?

They are both controlled by little green men.

Who made this Christmas pudding?

Our chef. He's a little green man who lives in a toadstool. What did he use to make it Elf-raising flour of course.

Capitalist Jokes More Capitalist Jokes

What do capitalists and conspiracy theorists have in common?

They are both controlled by little green men.

What do you get when you mix a communist and a capitalist?

Bernie sanders

Illumi Naughty Jokes More Illumi Naughty Jokes

How do conspiracy theorists like their lovers?

Illumi-naughty

Think Jokes More Think Jokes

What do you call a teacher that's always late?

Mr. Bus (think about it)

Why did the pirate go to Ireland?

he thought he was going to Arrrland.

Giraffe Jokes More Giraffe Jokes

What do giraffes and humans share the same number of?

Testicles.

What do you call a road full of giraffes?

Giraffic.

Clothe Jokes More Clothe Jokes

Why wait?

I'll take you clothes shopping right now".

What do you instantly know about a well-dressed man?

A. His wife is good at picking out clothes.