Why do you have to pee so quickly after you start drinking beer?

Because it doesn't have to stop off to change color!

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Drink Jokes More Drink Jokes

Where does a Martian go for a drink?

A Mars Bar

Why did the blonde climb up to the roof of the bar?

She heard that the drinks were on the house.

Start Jokes More Start Jokes

What should you do when your epileptic child starts seizing in the bathtub?

Throw in your laundry!

How do you start a baby shower?

Throw it into a wood chipper.

Stop Jokes More Stop Jokes

How do you stop a clown from laughing?

Hit it in the face with an axe.

Why did the rancher stop attending poker night with his marijuana smoking steers?

The steaks were getting too damn high.

Change Jokes More Change Jokes

How many mathematician does it take to change a lightbulb?

pi

How many white people does it take to change a light bulb?

A brunch.

Beer Jokes More Beer Jokes

What's the worst way to convince an officer who's pulled you over not to ticket you?

You can have my beer if you let me go."

What happens to a woman who falls down the stairs?

Nothing, as long as she doesn't drop my beers

Color Jokes More Color Jokes

What does the Michael Jackson action figure have written on the back of the box?

Not suitable for children. Colors may vary.

What Color Is It?

In case you hadn't noticed, the color of the wind is 'blew.' Water always looks 'wet' to me. Dirt is oviously 'dirty.' Soup seems 'soupy.' If you can't find those Crayons in your box, contact CRAYOLA.

Pee Jokes More Pee Jokes

Why's a pretty girl like you sitting all alone?

Me: I peed my pants.

Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom?

Because the pee is silent.