Why do you want to run for President?

Because walking wouldn't burn enough calories.

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Want Jokes More Want Jokes

What do Albanian kids want to be when they grow up?

Italian

Why don't emus ever finish all the food on their plates?

They don't want to be ostrich-sized!

Burn Jokes More Burn Jokes

Why did the hipster burn his tongue drinking tea?

Because he didn't wait for it to be cool.

Why did the hipster burn himself?

Because he played with fire before it was cool.

Walk Jokes More Walk Jokes

What does the man say when he walks into the bar?

Can I please get a drink "

Why did the dinosaur walk on two legs?

To give the ants a chance.

President Jokes More President Jokes

Why couldn't Arnold Schwarzenegger run for president?

Because he doesn't do cardio.

What's the difference between the US and Russian Presidents?

US presidents get shot while Russian presidents take shots.

Run Jokes More Run Jokes

Why can't you run through a campsite?

Because you ran when it's past tents.

What's faster than a black guy running down the street with your T.V?

His brother holding the VCR.

Calorie Jokes More Calorie Jokes

How my girlfriend stay's thin. Wanna know how my girlfriend stays thin?

She burns most of her calories jumping to conclusions.

How many calories does heartache burn?

Me: Depends on how many calories are in the person you are setting on fire.