Why do you want to run for President?

Because walking wouldn't burn enough calories.

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Want Jokes More Want Jokes

How are new marriages just like LOST?

The Significant Others just want babies.

Why was the chessmaster interested in foreign women?

A: He wanted a Czech mate.

Burn Jokes More Burn Jokes

How did the blonde burn her ear?

The telephone rang while she was ironing.

Did you hear about the bread factory burning down?

They say the business is toast.

Walk Jokes More Walk Jokes

Why do pagans make the best husbands and wives?

Because they'll worship the ground you walk on.

What do The Walking Dead and Fast & Furious have in common?

dead walkers

President Jokes More President Jokes

What do you call an instrument that gets a president impeached?

Harmonica Lewinsky.

Which president likes doing laundry?

George WASHING-A-TON. He's the 8 year old white Kevin Hart.

Run Jokes More Run Jokes

What is the difference between Stephen Hawking and his E-Wheelchair?

If you repair both, the E-Wheelchair is the only thing running again

Why did i buy a black phone?

So it would run faster!!

Calorie Jokes More Calorie Jokes

What are calories?

Little elves that tighten your waistband on your pants a little every night

Why did the arsonist go to the gym?

To burn some calories.