Why is it the only thing a woman wants out of a man these days is security?

Well it's the first thing they say when I approach them.

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Want Jokes More Want Jokes

What are unicorns who want better working enviroments for their fellow employees?

Unioncorns.

Why did the otter want to work at NASA?

So he could go to Otter Space.

Man Jokes More Man Jokes

Why do women have smaller feet than men?

So that they can get closer to the sink.

Why did the man build his house out of a tree instead of bricks?

Because he thought it wood look better!

Thing Jokes More Thing Jokes

What is one thing you always get on your birthday?

Older

What is the worst part about going to Auschwitz?

Your dreams are not the only thing going up in smokes.

Day Jokes More Day Jokes

What kind of alcohol gets stuck in your head for days?

Red Red Wine!

What did the Middle Eastern dishwasher say when his boss asked him what he did all day at work?

Iraq the dishes in the dish rack and Iran the dishwasher

Woman Jokes More Woman Jokes

Why did Bobby Fischer marry a woman from Prague?

A: He was looking for a Czech mate.

What's 12" long, rock hard in the morning, and makes a woman cry?

A dead baby.

Approach Jokes More Approach Jokes

What you hope someone might say about you when they approach your casket?

Hey, I think he moved.

What did the pair of flip-flops say to the approaching man with disgusting feet?

Shoe.

Security Jokes More Security Jokes

What do you call the security at a Samsung store?

Guardians of the Galaxy, or firefighters.

Who are the real Guardians of the Galaxy?

Security at Samsung.