Approach Jokes

Why didn't the approaching black hole concern the astronaut?

He didn't understand the gravity of the situation.

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How did Mars feel when the colonists were approaching?

Terra-fied.

What did the Buddhist monk say when he approached the hotdog stand?

Make me one with everything.

Why did the Kurd bury his music collection?

His tribesman said "ISIL is approaching, and they're coming for Yazidis."

What did inhabitants of an island in South-East Thailand say when they saw a tsunami approaching?

Oh, Phuket!

How did the dog warn its master that a Gorilla was approaching?

He barked g-r-r-r-illa!

When she approached my car window I asked what's wrong officer?

She said "ugh nothing!"

Why is it the only thing a woman wants out of a man these days is security?

Well it's the first thing they say when I approach them.

How do you know it's going to be a white christmas?

It's approaching with deceptive speed.

What did the pair of flip-flops say to the approaching man with disgusting feet?

Shoe.

What do you call a bag that never approaches anything?

an asymp-tote*

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What did Cinderella say as she was approaching the ball?

makes choking sounds*

What's the best angle to approach any challenge?

Try-Angle.

How do you approach an angry Welsh cheese?

Caerphilly.

What you hope someone might say about you when they approach your casket?

Hey, I think he moved.

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Ask Jokes More Ask Jokes

What did Larry McMurtry say when his neighbor asked to borrow a bar of soap?

He said "Sure! I could loan some Dove".

How do you tell a chemist from a non-chemist?

Ask them to pronounce 'unionized.'

Tsunami Jokes More Tsunami Jokes

What did inhabitants of an island in South-East Thailand say when they saw a tsunami approaching?

Oh, Phuket!

What did the tsunami say to Japan?

nothing, it waved. Happy Thursday all.

Problem Jokes More Problem Jokes

Why do aliens always disembark via ramp?

Do they have problems with stairs Or are flying saucers just handicap-accessible

Why was the math book sad?

It had a lot of problems

Bark Jokes More Bark Jokes

What do you call a digital tree?

All bark and no byte

What is the difference between a barking dog and an umbrella?

The umbrella can be shut up.

Ugh Jokes More Ugh Jokes

What was the first joke ever written?

Ugh, Ugh Ugh? Uggh!

When she approached my car window I asked what's wrong officer?

She said "ugh nothing!"

Feel Jokes More Feel Jokes

How did the domestic goods feel when they were being shipped overseas?

Tarrif-ied.

What's water?

so she wouldn't feel stupid.

Know Jokes More Know Jokes

What did one kangaroo say to the other kangaroo?

I don't know I don't speak kangaroo.

What do you call a punk band that knows how to play their instruments?

A metal band

Gravity Jokes More Gravity Jokes

What defies the law of gravity?

Women. They heavier they are, the easier they are to pick up.

Why is everything lying on the floor?

my mom asked Gravity, I replied.