Why is the universe expanding?

It needs more space.

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Space Jokes More Space Jokes

What kind of currency do they use in space?

Starbucks

Why did the astronomer break up with his girlfriend?

He just needed some space.

Need Jokes More Need Jokes

How amphetamine addiction is called?

Need for Speed.

What sort file do you you need to turn a 1.5 inch hole into a 4.5 inch one?

A pedo-file.

Universe Jokes More Universe Jokes

How many theoretical physicists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two. One to hold it in place, another to rotate the universe around it.

What's the most obvious slang word in the Star Wars universe?

Yo, duh.

Expand Jokes More Expand Jokes

Why does the universe expand?

All the Milky Ways. You get it.

How many "a man walks into a bar" jokes does it take to change a lightbulb?

One, but you can be sure a whole Reddit community will appear to expand the joke, make it funnier and eventually run it into the ground.