Universe Jokes

What does Gordon program in?

FLASH... AAAHHHHHHHH. Its the language of the universe...

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What's the biggest lie of the Universe?

I Have Read and Agree to the Terms of Service."

Which place has the strongest gravity in the whole universe?

Bed

What's the most obvious slang word in the Star Wars universe?

Yo, duh.

How many physicists does it take to change a light bulb?

Two! one to change the light bulb and the other to rotate the universe!

Why were people in the Medieval times so self absorbed?

Because they thought that they were the center of the universe.

How many theoretical physicists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two. One to hold it in place, another to rotate the universe around it.

How many theoretical physicists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to hold the bulb and one to rotate the universe.

How do you know the universe likes Saturn?

It put a ring on it.

What's the smallest thing in the universe?

A pebble caught between the wrinkle of a flea's ball.

Why is the universe expanding?

It needs more space.

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What is the chance we are alone in the universe?

Professor: Astronomical.

Why does the universe expand?

All the Milky Ways. You get it.

How does the universe throw a party?

They planet.

Why did Steve Harvey announce Miss Colombia as the Miss Universe winner?

Because he couldn't pronounce Miss Philippines.

Why is the Force like duct tape?

It has a dark side, a light side, and it holds the universe together.

Where did the universe attend college?

At the university.

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Fonz Jokes More Fonz Jokes

Why does the Fonz dress up as an insect when going on a journey?

Because he wants to get from ayy to bee.

What is "The Fonz's" favorite breakfast?

Eeeeeeeeeeggs

Stadium Jokes More Stadium Jokes

Why was the stadium so cool?

it was full of fans. Thank thank you for your time

Why was it so hot in the stadium after the game?

Because all the fans left

Shredder Jokes More Shredder Jokes

How does a turtle grate cheese?

Shredder

Who is the best guitarist in the entire Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles universe?

Shredder.

Aquaman Jokes More Aquaman Jokes

Why so down?

Aquaman: People think I'm not a real superhero. I'm tired of being walked all over. *Jesus enters Aquaman: Dammit!

Who's Aquaman?

Me: EXACTLY!

Gordon Jokes More Gordon Jokes

What if it's daytime?

Batman: *glares at Robin* Gordon: Yeah, what if it- Batman: *smoke bomb*

What does Gordon program in?

FLASH... AAAHHHHHHHH. Its the language of the universe...

Kentucky Jokes More Kentucky Jokes

How do you know the toothbrush was invented in Kentucky?

If it was invented anywhere else it would've been called the teethbrush

Why did the University of Kentucky have to put AstroTurf down on the stadium?

To keep the cheerleaders from grazing at halftime.

College Jokes More College Jokes

What was Spider Man's major in college?

Web Design.

What do you call Charlie Sheen's brother if he were a financial advisor?

Emilio Investevez. Fun game/running joke friends in college used to play. Wondering if Reddit would enjoy the game too.

Marvel Jokes More Marvel Jokes

Why is a bad government like a bikini?

Because people marvel at what's holding it up. And they wish it would fall.

Why did Aquaman join the DC universe instead of Marvel?

Because he was hydra-phobic.