Why was that guy yelling at you?

flashback to me ignoring the "one per customer" sign me with a mouthful of cheese samples No idea

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Guy Jokes More Guy Jokes

What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs at your front door?

Matt

Who has one thumb and survived a band saw accident?

This guy!!!

Yell Jokes More Yell Jokes

Why did the director yell at Kick at the set of Punchkicker 5?

Because he said Punch's line.

What's the difference between my guitar and my girlfriend?

My guitar doesn't yell at me when I snap it's g-string

Sign Jokes More Sign Jokes

Why does your sign say "Fine Dining"?

Waiter: We can dream can't we

How about an autograph mate?

Sure." He replied. So I signed a photo print of myself and gave it to him.

Customer Jokes More Customer Jokes

What did the server say when the customer requested something they didn't have?

404

Who earns a living driving their customers away?

A taxi driver

Ignore Jokes More Ignore Jokes

Why was the Polaroid fanfiction ignored by the photography community?

Because it wasn't Canon.

What is the most-ignored rule in a convent?

Lights out at nine, candles out at ten.

Flashback Jokes More Flashback Jokes

How'd the date go?

Not good. Too many red flags. *Flashback to her house being covered with USSR flags* I think she might be a communist.

Where's the dog?

flashback to me giving him the keys to the car to get more beer* ME: I let him outside.

Mouthful Jokes More Mouthful Jokes

What flavor is it?

I think you mean 'what scent is it ' *with a mouthful of candle wax* -What

Where's all the microscope oil and acetic acid?

Me: (with a mouthful of salad topped with vinaigrette) I dunno.