Bilbo Jokes

Who should have played Bilbo Baggins in Lord of the Rings?

Bruce Willis. Because old hobbits die hard.

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How did Bilbo survive the entire Lord of the Rings trilogy?

Because old Hobbits die hard...

What do you call a pompous Hobbit?

Bilbo Braggins

How does Bilbo take his tea?

Bag-in

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Tea Jokes More Tea Jokes

Why was the tea so obstinate?

Because it was steeped in tradition.

What kind of tea did the American colonists want?

Liberty

Bag Jokes More Bag Jokes

What's the difference between a bag of cocaine and a toddler?

Eric Clapton would never let a bag of cocaine fall out of a window.

What's the difference between a bag of cocaine and a 4 year old?

Eric Clapton wouldn't drop a bag of cocaine out a window

Survive Jokes More Survive Jokes

What do you call a soldier who survives Mustard gas and pepper spray?

A seasoned veteran.

How is the 85 year old Contractor that survived lung cancer doing?

Asbestos he can. I'm so sorry.

Lord Jokes More Lord Jokes

What am I, The Lord of War?

Peddle your conflict fruit someplace else.

Who played Gandalf in the Islamic version of Lord of the Rings?

Syrian Mckellen

Hobbit Jokes More Hobbit Jokes

What do you call a pompous Hobbit?

Bilbo Braggins

What did the Hobbit say to the Japanese man as he was leaving?

Shirenara!

Live Jokes More Live Jokes

Where does Eskimo-Senpai live?

In the tsundra.

Whats yellow and lives off dead beetles?

Yoko Ono.

Old Hobbits Jokes More Old Hobbits Jokes

Why did Bilbo Baggins live for so long?

Because old Hobbits die hard...

How did Bilbo survive the entire Lord of the Rings trilogy?

Because old Hobbits die hard...

Bilbo Baggin Jokes More Bilbo Baggin Jokes

Why did Bilbo Baggins die with a Erection?

Because old hobbits die hard. (Just a different Punchline)

Who should have played Bilbo Baggins in Lord of the Rings?

Bruce Willis. Because old hobbits die hard.