Tea Jokes

What do Englishmen like more than tea?

Tea tea

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How does Moses make his tea?

Hebrews it. I'm serious! That Israeli how he does it!

How does Moses get his tea ready?

Hebrews

What does an English pimp do, after having tea and crumpets?

Tally Hoes

What do ants drink?

Tea. It's an ant tea joke.

What is a politician's favorite kind of tea?

Infideli-tea.

Why does Britain love tea so much?

Because tea leaves.

Why does Britain like tea so much?

Because tea leaves.

Why do hipsters burn their lips when they drink tea?

Because they drink it before it's cool.

What kind of tea do koalas drink?

Euca-lipton

What is the name of your car?

Lady: I forgot the name, but is starts with 'T'. Sardar: Oh, what a strange car, starts with Tea. All cars that I know start with petrol.

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What does a pirate do when he has a cold?

Arrr make tea

Why did so many people support the colonist protest of tea?

Cause everyone wanted'a "boo" tea!

Why does Karl Marx not take milk in his tea?

Because proper tea is theft.

What do you call tea made by a stoned marsupial?

High koala tea

What kind of tea is sometimes hard to swallow ?

Reality. I'll show myself out now...

How did Moses make his tea in the morning?

Hebrewed it.

Why was Sean Connery accused of piracy while drinking tea?

He took a ship.

What happened to the native man that drank 23 cups of tea?

He went home and drowned in his tea pee.

How did the hipster burn their tongue?

They drank their tea before it was cool.

How do you ask a tyrannosaur out to lunch?

Tea, Rex?"

What kind of tea is hard to swallow?

Reality

What's the difference between England and a cup of tea?

The teabag stays in the cup longer.

What kind of tea do wealthy people own?

Proper-Tea

What happens when you take the tea away from your guest?

He's left there trying to "guess" what happened.

Why was the tea so obstinate?

Because it was steeped in tradition.

What's the worst kind of tea?

Emptea!

What do you call a weak cup of tea?

Subtlety.

Why can't the Maple Leafs have any tea?

Because Boston has all the cups!

Why didn't the coffee and the tea get along?

Because they were being "brewed"

What kind of tea does a house drink?

Propertea

What kind of tea did the American colonists want?

Liberty

What tea do hockey players drink?

Penaltea!

How do vampires like their tea?

With a old tampon in it.

What do you call an earl grey that likes role play?

Not-tea

Why must rabbits never miss dinner?

With out their tea they'd be Rabbis.

What type of tea does the Social Justice Warrior avoid?

Reality

What type of tea is hard to swallow?

Reality

What kind of tea do the crime investigation team drink?

A "casual tea"

What does batman add to his tea?

Just ice.

What tea do footballers drink?

Penaltea!

What kind of tea is sometimes hard to swallow?

Reality

What's the difference between a vampire and a cookie?

You can't dip a vampire in your tea.

What did the host say after her guest complimented her on her tea?

Thanks, it's my special tea.

Who's there ! Army Ant ! Army Ant who ?

Army Ants coming for tea then

How Moses makes his tea?

Hebrews it.

How does Sherlock prefer his tea?

Steeped in mystery!

What kind of tea does water make?

Humiditea.

Why did Sherlock Holmes not want a second cup of tea in the emergency room?

Because it was More ER Tea.

How does Bilbo take his tea?

Bag-in

What kind of tea do you pay an arm and a leg for?

Amputee

What kind of tea isn't fake?

A property

What happened to the Native American who drank too much tea?

He died in his teepee

How did Moses make his tea?

Hebrewed it

Who's there ! Anais ! Anais who ?

Anais cup of tea !

What's the difference between a tea bag and a used tampon?

What's the Difference between a tea bag and a used tampon - I dunno... - I'm never drinking tea at your house again then!

How do Vampires Make Tea?

Used Tampons

What's the difference between a biscuit and a monster?

You can dip a biscuit in your tea but a monster is too big to fit in the cup.

What should you wear when drinking tea?

A tea-shirt.

What do you get when you mix tea and a dogs name?

A dinosaur! Ha ha get it Tea-rex Hahaha...

What kind of tea does an anarchist drink?

Cheap generic iced tea. Because proper tea is theft.

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Why do college frat boys drink before bathing?

Buds before suds, bro.

Why are law students known for drinking?

They are getting ready for the Bar exam.

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What happened when the bike ran over a nail?

It popped a wheelie.

How many atheist does it take to change a light bulb?

None. It will happen itself.

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What do you call a wizard that puts people to sleep?

Dumblebore

How many people can ride on a bird?

Toucan.

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What kind of poker do stoner cows play?

High Steaks

When a seeing eye dog poops, who cleans it up?

This is the kind of stuff that makes my head hurt.

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Why do Anarchists only drink herbal tea?

Because all proper tea is theft.

Why do Marxists only drink herbal tea?

Why do Marxists only drink herbal tea? Because proper tea is theft.

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Who is the most popular guy at the nudist colony?

The guy who can carry a cup of coffee in each hand and a dozen donuts.

What do call a cup when drank from by a married woman?

A Mississippi cup.

Theft Jokes More Theft Jokes

What kind of tea does an anarchist drink?

Cheap generic iced tea. Because proper tea is theft.

What do you call a theft by a stumbling person?

A lumberjack.

Leave Jokes More Leave Jokes

Why did the Anti vaccinator leave the solar system?

Because he found mercury in it.

What do Santa and Jared from Subway have in common?

They both leave kids rooms with an empty sack