Daily Jokes

What's you experience with "Friends with benefits"?

The close thing I came to having friends with benefits was .......... convincing my friend to bring food for me daily.

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What do cannibal say when they say grace?

We thank you Lord for our daily dead!

How did Eddard Stark get his daily recommended amount of fiber?

Raisin' Bran.

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Bring Jokes More Bring Jokes

What's the best way to bring out your inner child?

A coat hanger

Why did the mathematician bring home 24 eggs from the grocery store?

Because when he asked his wife how many eggs to buy, she said 4!

Thank Jokes More Thank Jokes

Where did I get my scarf?

It's a CVS receipt. You love it Oh thank you very much.

What did the ocean say to the beach?

Thanks for all the sediment.

Cow Jokes More Cow Jokes

Whats the difference between a cow and 9/11?

Americans cant milk a cow for 14 years.

What do cows sit on?

Couches

Breastfeed Jokes More Breastfeed Jokes

What did the baby say to its mother after breastfeeding?

Thanks for the mammaries!

What is Britain's most popular newspaper amongst breastfeeding mothers?

The Daily Express.

Benefit Jokes More Benefit Jokes

What do salads and Mexicans have in common ?

They both benefit America!

What's the difference between 50 Cent and the Ozone Layer?

The Ozone layer doesn't benefit from having holes in them.

Mother Jokes More Mother Jokes

Why did the table love playing volleyball?

Because it was always getting set! I think she gets it from her mother.

What do your mother and the ground have in common?

They are always full of seed.

Grace Jokes More Grace Jokes

Why don't we say Grace?

Me: I don't know. 5-year-old: Me: 5-year-old: Is it because your cooking makes God angry

What do cannibal say when they say grace?

We thank you Lord for our daily dead!

Come Jokes More Come Jokes

How do fish make calls?

On a shellphone! My 7 year old self was very proud of coming up with this one....

What do Swedish criminals say when the cops are coming?

Pork! Pork! Pork!