Di Jokes

Which part of your body shuts down last when you die?

The eyes, cause they di-late.

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What did Dodi Fayed say to his driver?

Want to go out with me and Di tonight?

Wherefore art thou Romeo?

Romeo: New phone. Who dis

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Shut Jokes More Shut Jokes

Which one do you let in?

The dog, once he's in, he shuts up!

How do you get a guitar player to shut up?

Put sheet music in front of him

Ensure Jokes More Ensure Jokes

What is the difference between a Mother and Wife?

One woman brings you into this world crying and the other ensures you continue to do so.

What person strives to ensure safety for horses?

Ralph Neighder!

Oscar Joke Jokes More Oscar Joke Jokes

Why did Leonardo Di Caprio laugh at the Oscar joke?

He finally got it!

Why did Leonardo DiCaprio laugh at the Oscar joke?

Because he finally got it

Road Jokes More Road Jokes

Why did the black guy cross the road?

He heard there was chicken on the other side!

Why Latvian man did cross road?

Man have no chicken. All animals are die in famine. Man cross to look for potato. No potato.

Tonight Jokes More Tonight Jokes

Why doesn't Superman like the Mummy?

Because the Mummy's always saying, "I'll be in the crypt tonight."

What do you do when Ronda says "Not Tonight"?

Kick her out of bed

Dodi Faye Jokes More Dodi Faye Jokes

What did Dodi Fayed say to his driver?

Want to go out with me and Di tonight?

What was Dodi Fayed's favorite state?

In Diana

Leo Jokes More Leo Jokes

What is the difference between Chelsea and Leo di caprio?

Chelsea got Oscar. huehuehuehue.

Why didn't the bear from the revenant win the Oscar?

Because it would've torn Leo up to receive another Oscar loss

Driver Jokes More Driver Jokes

Why can't truck drivers ever fully retire?

Because they can only semi retire.

Why do golfers have the best chauffeurs?

Because they're good at picking their drivers.