Doorknob Jokes

What is the difference between a doorknob and a Zika baby's head?

When you twist the doorknob it doesn't scream.

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What did Norman Bates call his little sister?

You know you see it coming...) A: Psycho-sis! (I won't let the doorknob hit me on the way out..)

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Know Jokes More Know Jokes

How many agnostics does it take to change a light bulb?

There's really no sure way to know.

What dino was known for having distinguished tastes?

A Connosaur

Let Jokes More Let Jokes

Why shouldn't you let the scientists have an antelope?

They'll turn it into a bombardeer

Why are you here?

And Elsa answers: "Because they don't let me go."

Way Jokes More Way Jokes

How do you fit an elephant in to a subway?

Take the 's' out of "sub" and the 'f' out of "way"

What did one maggot say to the other who was stuck in an apple?

Worm your way out of that one then!

Scream Jokes More Scream Jokes

What did the hammer announce over the intercom to the evacuating screws screaming for help?

This is not a drill!"

What's the difference between a cigarette and my exwife?

Cigarettes don't scream when they're burning.

Wall Jokes More Wall Jokes

What did the wall ask the picture?

All together now!) ***"How's it hangin' "*** Skip

Why couldn't the glue hold the walls together?

Because it wasn't ceiling.

Punish Jokes More Punish Jokes

How did Helen Keller's mother punish her?

She left a plunger in the toilet

Who punishes Colorado underage smokers?

COPD

Hit Jokes More Hit Jokes

What did Ray Rice say the first time he met his girlfriend?

Dayuum. I'd hit that."

Why couldn't the rocketeer hit her target?

Because they were too Phar-ah way. I'm not sorry.

Twist Jokes More Twist Jokes

How can you mend King Kong's arm if he's twisted it?

With a monkey wrench.

What is the similarity between a weiner and a Rubik's Cube?

The more you twist them the harder they get.