Human Race Jokes

Why did the aliens choose to not invade and enslave the human race?

Because they're not garbage collectors.

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What's the most oldest joke in the world?

The human race.

Why did the dyslexic escapologist join the International Socialists?

A. because he wanted to help untie the human race.

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Untie Jokes More Untie Jokes

How do you get an emo out of a tree?

Untie the rope...

Why did the dyslexic escapologist join the International Socialists?

A. because he wanted to help untie the human race.

Old Joke Jokes More Old Joke Jokes

What is the oldest joke we have on record?

X-post) http://www.reddit.com/r/AskHistorians/comments/2krnv8/whatistheoldestjokewehaveonrecord/

What's the difference between an old joke and a new one?

Nothing. We're on reddit

Human Jokes More Human Jokes

Why did Prince Eric leave Ariel when she became a human?

He was just chasing tail.

What's the difference between a sperm and a racist?

A sperm as a 1 in a million chance of actually becoming a human being.

World Jokes More World Jokes

What goes around the world yet stays in the corner?

Stamp

How does Stan Collymore change a lightbulb?

A: He holds it in the air and the world revolves around him

Alien Jokes More Alien Jokes

What do you get when you cross a kangaroo with an alien?

A mars-upial

How does an alien get back to his home planet?

ayy lmao

Choose Jokes More Choose Jokes

What's the difference between "choice" and "choose?

Choice" is your ability to make decisions, "choose" are what Mexicans put on their feet.

Which do you choose?

WRONG. Neither. Don't ever take my candy.

Join Jokes More Join Jokes

How many moths does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Just two, but more can join in if there's room in the lightbulb.

How do you convince America to join a war?

Tell them its almost over

Garbage Collector Jokes More Garbage Collector Jokes

Why do programmers produce more garbage than others ?

Because they (some of them) don't have a garbage collector.

Why did the aliens choose to not invade and enslave the human race?

Because they're not garbage collectors.