Old Joke Jokes

Why did the man marry a monkey?

Because he wanted a PRIME-MATE! sorry ...sorry twice if this is an old joke

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

Coffee Mug

What gets you a downvote?

Reposting an old joke that wasn't funny the first time. What gets you an upvote? Posting an original joke, or a funny joke I've heard before. What get's you 5 upvotes? Being

How are old jokes on reddit like a herpes outbreak?

You know they are going to keep coming back, and despite the fact they are weaker each time, you still don't look forward to them.

What's the most oldest joke in the world?

The human race.

What is the oldest joke we have on record?

X-post) http://www.reddit.com/r/AskHistorians/comments/2krnv8/whatistheoldestjokewehaveonrecord/

What do you call an old joke which someone has put on r/jokes ?

A historepost.

What's the difference between an old joke and a new one?

Nothing. We're on reddit

What is the oldest joke in the book?

The first one written

What do you call 1,000 liberals at the bottom of the ocean?

A good start! **an old joke that my dad used to tell at every party. You could replace "liberals" with pretty much anything.

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Today Jokes More Today Jokes

What would Marilyn Monroe being doing if she were alive today?

Clawing at the lid of her coffin.

Why is everyone smiling at me today?

checks fly* *no pants* Aaaah.

Child Jokes More Child Jokes

Why doesn't ISIS attack Israel?

Same reason children don't attack their parents...

What's the difference between Beyonce and a shopping bag?

A shopping bag can carry a child.

Realize Jokes More Realize Jokes

Why did the guy cut a hole in his carpet?

He wanted to watch the floor show. And why did he cover it back up ...He realized that he didn't want to watch the "hole" show.

Why was Amazon angry after their conference with Samsung?

After taking Notes, they realized their was no way they could sell the Fire.

Teach Jokes More Teach Jokes

Why didn't Anna and Elsa's parents teach them the alphabet?

Because they got lost at C.

What happens when a professor teaches for a decade?

A: He gets Tenyear.

Aim Jokes More Aim Jokes

Where have you learned aiming?

Response: In programming course.

What does the commander say to the firing squad when they go camping?

Ready, aim, make the FIRE!

Think Jokes More Think Jokes

What did Journey say to the critic as he stormed out of their concert?

Don't stop! Be leaving!" Just a joke I thought up the other day.

Why were you driving around in circles and laughing?

Motorist: I thought I was on a merry-go-round.

Post Jokes More Post Jokes

What do you call a girl between two posts?

Annette.

Why doesn't Stephen Hawking need a wife?

Because he has his own shoulder to cry on. Edit: all credit goes to /u/Earleebird who posted it in a comment in /r/oldschoolcool

Come Jokes More Come Jokes

How did robbers gain entry to steal from Miley Cyrus?

They came in like a wrecking ball.

Why did they never make a pregnant Barbie?

because Ken always came in another box.