Intervention Jokes

What did God say to the alcoholic spelling bee judge?

Define intervention." Came up with this today at work.

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What do you call it when a bunch of deer have an intervention for one of their friends?

Change for a buck.

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Buck Jokes More Buck Jokes

How much did the pirate pay to get his ears pierced?

A buck 'n ear

How Much Did the Pirate Charge For Corn?

A buck an ear

Friend Jokes More Friend Jokes

What did one hash brownie say to the other?

We're so baked. What did the stoner say to his friend? I'm so high,I can hear the brownies talking to each other.

What happened when the host of Dirty Jobs said hello to a friend that was fairly far away?

Microwave.

Deer Jokes More Deer Jokes

What do you call a deer with no eyes?

I have no ideer.

What did one deer say to the other after leaving the bar?

I can't believe you just blew 50 bucks in there

God Jokes More God Jokes

What makes fish smell?

One fine morning in Eden, God was looking for Eve, but couldn't find them. God saw Adam and asked where Eve was? Adam replied, "She's down at the Ocean, taking a bath." "Damn," says God, "now all the fish will smell."

How can you celebrate Christmas if you don't believe in God?

I responded with, "How can you celebrate Valentine's Day if nobody loves you "

Cosmo Jokes More Cosmo Jokes

What happened after the King of All Cosmos destroyed the stars in a drunken rage?

Divine intervention. edit: Oh.

What was Carl Sagan's favorite drink?

Cosmos.

Happen Jokes More Happen Jokes

What happened to the man running in front of the car?

He got tired. What happened to the man running behind the car He got exhausted.

What happens when the cows refuse to be milked?

Udder chaos!

Edit Jokes More Edit Jokes

How did my doctor know I have minor IBS?

I just asked him to edit my essay and he said I have semi colon problems. He must be a smart guy if he can figure that out from my writing.

How are Harambe memes keeping up?

Cincinnati Zoo keeps trying to shoot them down.

Today Jokes More Today Jokes

How would you like your school girls today, Mr. Holmes?

Elementary, my dear Watson.

Why did the giraffe cross the highway?

Because he bumped his head on the low-way! I guess we're doing 4 year old's jokes today :)