What did God say to the alcoholic spelling bee judge?

Define intervention." Came up with this today at work.

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Come Jokes More Come Jokes

Why did the Kurd bury his music collection?

His tribesman said "ISIL is approaching, and they're coming for Yazidis."

Why did the snowman take his pants off?

He heard the snow blower was coming.

Work Jokes More Work Jokes

Whats does dissecting a frog and explaining a joke have in common?

Sure, you know how it works, but now it's dead.

Why was the NSA computer programmer late for work?

Because he got Snowden

Today Jokes More Today Jokes

How did you prepare for today?

red carpet question with "Cocaine and sit ups." #GoldenGlobes

What do Will and Jaden Smith like about today?

It's After Earth Day.

God Jokes More God Jokes

Why does the sun never set on the British Empire?

Because God wouldn't trust an Englishman in the dark!

What pets think about their owners?

A dog: He feeds me, takes care about me, gives me shelter... He is God. A cat: He feeds me, takes care about me, gives me shelter... I am God.

Intervention Jokes More Intervention Jokes

What did God say to the alcoholic spelling bee judge?

Define intervention." Came up with this today at work.

What do you call it when a bunch of deer have an intervention for one of their friends?

Change for a buck.

Define Jokes More Define Jokes

How do you define necrophilia?

The urge to crack open a cold one

What about you?

me: define "child"