Motivational Speaker Jokes

What did the motivational speaker say to the duct?

You conduit!

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What's the difference between a motivational speaker and a baseball player?

The baseball player has all of its limbs.

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Baseball Player Jokes More Baseball Player Jokes

Why don't baseball players get much action?

Because they have foul balls.

Why are baseball players so cool?

They always have their fans around.

Stir Jokes More Stir Jokes

Why does James Bond like Michael J Fox?

Because he always gets his martini shaken, not stirred.

How does Michael J Fox take his martinis?

Shaken. Not stirred

James Bond Jokes More James Bond Jokes

What does James Bond say after a heavy workout?

I would like to have Whey. Shaken, not stirred.

What was James Bond after he slept through an earthquake?

Shaken, not stirred.

Duct Jokes More Duct Jokes

How much for that babysitter?

Ma'am, that's a roll of duct tape I'll take it!

What causes dry eyes?

Ducts out of water ...

Audience Jokes More Audience Jokes

When are they going to drug test the audience of "The Price Is Right."?

No one should be that happy.

Why is James Bond a terrible motivational speaker?

Because the audiences are shaken, not stirred.

Limb Jokes More Limb Jokes

Why can't Jimmy ride his bike?

Because he has no limbs Kinda dark, I know. It's just for those out there who would chuckle at this. ;D

What do you call a potato with no limbs?

An amputater

Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

Whats the difference between a Pygmy and an Amazon?

Well, the Pygmy is a cunning runt...

What's the difference between a 6 year old and a 16 year old?

Which hole they stick their finger in when no-one's looking.

Conduit Jokes More Conduit Jokes

What did the dumb Electrical Apprentice say to the journeyman?

I conduit

What did the motivational speaker say to the duct?

You conduit!