What lies on the bottom of the sea and shakes?

A nervous wreck! I first heard this at xmas 1952 (64 years ago) and it still makes me smile.

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Sea Jokes More Sea Jokes

What is the difference between a portuguese woman and a sea lion ?

One of them has shiny bodyhair and smells like cod, the other one is a mammal that lives in the sea.

Why did Bill go out to sea on an aircraft carrier?

A: To promote off-shore drilling.

Lie Jokes More Lie Jokes

Where was I conceived, dad?

Dad: Ahh *rubs back of neck* At the Bellagio in Las Vegas. -Rly Dad: Wd I lie to u, Bestwestern Broomcloset

Why do dinosaurs use Christian dating sites?

Because they can lie about their age!

Xmas Jokes More Xmas Jokes

What has eight arms and tells the time?

A clocktopus Shoutout to the popper from my Xmas dinner

What do you call a snowman who cons people?

A snowfake.

Hear Jokes More Hear Jokes

What are you planting???

B: The seed of doubt. A: Dude, that's the worst joke I've ever heard! A: Or is it the best???

What do you call a Russian wearing a head scarf, a balaclava and a helmet?

Anything you want. He can't hear a thing.

Shake Jokes More Shake Jokes

What two things should people stop shaking because shaking hurts these things development?

Polaroid Integral Film and Babies

What animal do you get when shake a pig?

a ham-stir

Nervous Wreck Jokes More Nervous Wreck Jokes

What is at the bottom of the sea and shakes?

A nervous wreck.

What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?

A nervous wreck.

Smile Jokes More Smile Jokes

What lies on the bottom of the sea and shakes?

A nervous wreck! I first heard this at xmas 1952 (64 years ago) and it still makes me smile.

What's the longest word in the dictionary?

Smiles" because there is a mile between each S!